Hit by a train! Lesson Learned!

We're in Beijing.  Finally.  Hmmm... where do I begin?

So, Darren and I hadn't planned on booking our tickets to Beijing last minute, but since we did decide there was nothing else to see in Suzhou, it kinda worked out that way.  Unfortunately, there weren't any sleepers left, soft or hard, and there weren't any soft seats left either.  So, of course, we ended up buying hard seats, for a fourteen hour train.

After purchasing our tickets, we realized that there were no seat numbers, unlike our previous tickets, so we inquired at our hostel reception.  Apparently, what we got, was basically stand by seating.  And by stand by, I mean you stand by, in and around the isles until someone vacates their seat at one of the stops.  The catch however, is that if someone gets on the train with a ticket with a seat number, you have to give it up to them.  So, I suppose we were fortunate in that, being the token "white" people in the hard seat section, one of the families gave up a seat for us.  The unfortunate part, well one of the unforunate parts, is that was the only seat we were able to maintain.  For maybe a half hour, we had two seats, but otherwise, for the other thirteen and a half hours, Darren and I shared a seat; either, rotating who stood and who sat, or trying to squish onto one seat, or me sitting on his lap.

It was hell; but, but that wasn't even the worst of it.  The family who so graciously gave up a seat for us (which was nice mostly because it guaranteed a seat for the entire trip), was also incredibly abnoxious at the same time.  The son was nice, who we paid our dues to and took a random photo with (this has happened more than once mind you, when strangers ask to have pictures taken with us).  The wife however, was taking up three seats when we got on the train, and even after we woke her up, she still took up two seats to herself.  She also spread her nasty, smelly, sour feet across the seats onto her husband's lap (who was sitting right beside us), and I'm pretty sure I puked in my mouth a bit.  It was gross.  The husband as well was no picnic.  The guy was a chain smoker who dropped ash on our feet numerous times and would hold his cigarette right in front of your face.  To top it off, he too had horribly smelly feet which, at times almost ended up in our laps.  He was also a walking pustule!  He would go to the washroom (don't even get me started on that one, we held our pee for 14 hours), and come back with bloody, pussing sores that he clearly just spent the last twenty minutes popping.  They were moist and shimmering in the smoke filled air.  It was sick.

On top of it all, the train car was overpacked, and people were constantly walking past you, so you couldn't even stretch out into the isle (people were sleeping on the floor of the isle though).  Not to mention the food carts that came by every five minutes.  It's like being on a plane, except, instead of your elbow, it's your ankle, or your leg, or your whole freaking body... and the ladies are sweet like stewardesses.  They yell at you and just keep ramming you until you move.

It was the slowest ride ever and I'm pretty sure the amount of second hand smoke alone aged me ten years.  I smell bad, I look like I've been hit by a train, and neither Darren nor I have eaten more than a muffin since last night's dinner (it's almost 2pm).  Not to mention that accumulated, we've probably totaled two hours of sleep.

We're in Beijing.  We hate line ups, and for the first time I think we actually missed home.  I need a shower, a lot of beer, and some sleep.  Hope you're all well... and that you don't stink like a drunk, oily man's ash tray!  Have a good one!