A Day of Firsts

So after the horrific train ride, Darren and I had a shower, a little grub, and a little nap, which turned into a full on sleeping marathon.  We slept for seventeen hours, making up for a few lost z's the previous night.  So our first day in Beijing was actually Friday... and it was a day of firsts.
During our initial scan of the poorly translated menu (before we konked out for seventeen hours), it was the first time we had seen "five pragrances dog meat" on a menu (not gonna lie, I didn't want to eat there at all after I read that, but I think we had already ordered.  I was skepitcal of our 'chicken').  It was also the first time we encountered " five pragrances dinkey (donkey) meat" (the translator must have been Pilippino).  Again, I was tempted to go back to being a full vegetarian!

It was the first time Darren or I had ever been to the Forbidden Palace.  It was cool for sure, massive in fact.  Quite crowded as well, and not quite what we had expected, but massive.  The sheer size of the place is incredible.  It's more of an enclosed city than just a palace.  It was not quite as elaborately decorated as I had expected, but I supposed the place is 700 years old, and of course all the original treasures are now "reproductions" in the palace museums.  The palace is essentially that... one large museum.  Nan taught us that the reason the brick tiles of the entry are black, is because that area is "forbidden"/restricted.  Regular people weren't allowed in these areas, which is fairly intense once you think about it.  Strangely enough, this is where most of the crowds congregated, so we took the peasants path; which, consequently, is also the must unkept paths.  Clearly the black stone tiles have been restored and well kept, the other tiles were broken and jagged, and one could seriously twist an ankle trying to brave these jagged rocks... but we did.

This was also the first time I've ever eaten duck.  Unless I'm mistaken, I don't believe I've ever eaten duck as a child, and eating duck since has always felt strange to me.  I've just never associated the pretty water birds at Mill Lake with food.  However, given that the Peking Duck is the local signature dish, I had to try it.  I must admit, it was quite delicious!  Very fatty, but also succulant and moist.  Frank, you would love the way they serve the duck... I took pictures of it all.  They cook the duck in a fire oven (hanging-style), and carve it table-side.  First they cut off this one particular part (I didn't catch which, maybe the butt), it was just skin.  They'd put that on the table first, just a small morsel, which you dip in sugar first, then in the sauce.  It was so juicy and sweet, and crispy.  It was excellent.  Then they'd continue to carve the rest of the meat off the duck.  Those pieces also came with "lotus wraps".  You'd take a few pieces of duck, dip them in sauce, with a few pieces of leeks, also dipped in sauce, and a few pieces of cucumber... of course, dipped in sauce- wrap it all up, and enjoy.  While you're doing that, they take the carcus of the duck and steam it, add a few vegetables (winter squash?) and serve you the broth/soup.  I beleive they recooked the carcus afterwards (because it was crisp again), cut it up, and serve the remains.  They didn't waste a single bit.  I was thinking of you Frank.  (They don't waste much of anything come to think of it.  In the windows of the street vendors, you can pretty much get any piece of pig you could conceive of: snout, hooves, tail, etc.)

Another first, and probably the strangest... was the first time I've ever been felt up by a girl.  Don't worry, it's not quite as it sounds, and yet it is.  Contrary to my every instinct, I didn't bring an actual bra with me to China, just sports bras, and I've been complaining about it ever since.  I've been putting off buying one for a while, and now I had the time.  The problem is, that the chest width is different here (I think it's in centimeters).  Anyway, we went into a bra shop (with Darren and Nan) and I figured I'd get measured to be on the safe side.  For all the woman, you know that back home, this usually consists of a measuring tape around the bust and around the rib cage, so I was expecting something fairly simple and quick.  Well, as I usually am with assumptions around here, I was wrong.  She took me into the dressing room, put her hands around my rib cage, and then cupped my breasts.  I was a little shocked, but okay, they do things different here.  She left and came back with a bra.  I was actually a little impressed that she could figure out my size just by feel, I don't think I could do that.  But then it got weird.  There was a language barrier of course, so when she gestured for me to take off my clothes I was a little unsure of just how much of my clothes I was going to take off.  I took off my camera (which is almost always slung over my shoulder), then my coat, and then my shirt.  When I stopped, she started helping me take off my bra.  Okay :S  She then helped me put on the bra.  Okay ladies, you know when you put on a push up bra and you gotta pull the ladies up and out to get maxium effect... ya, she did this for me aswell.  She grabbed me from the armput and pushed me up and out.  On both sides.  She then pinched that little bit of back that sticks out ever so slightly (because I don't have a lot of it) from above the back, and gestured for me to lean over an pull it forward as well (at least she let me do this part on my own).  She then started pressing down on my new and improved "cleavage" saying, "very nice, very bigger".  She then left, and came back with some other strange garment of sorts.  It was like a bra, but without the cups.  It was apparently designed to help pull back your shoulders and help your posture.  I had apparently walked into some strange posture correcting, therapeutic bra parlor.  She came back with another bra afterwards and did it all over again, which was followed by a piece of paper with with her practiced phrases on it in both characters and English.  She kept saying it was healthier for me, and pointed to my little sports bra and said "no good".  You'd think after all that I would've purchased one of these life changing, posture enhancing, miracle bras, but I did not.  For 500 RMB (= $80), it just wasn't what I wanted for six months of backpacking.  (I ended up buying two bras for 100 RMB from another store.)  Though I left with no bra, it was the first time I've ever been felt up by another woman... needless to say, probably the last.

Other firsts included more eating; we had crawfish later that night for dinner, which we ate with gloves.  They were pretty delicious, and a little spicy.  It was a Schezuan restaurant; and, today we ate at a Russian restuarant. 

We also went to the Temple of Heaven today.  Darren wanted to sacrifice me at the Hall of Absitence, but unfortunately I'm not a goat or a sheep and it would do nothing for next year's crops/harvest.

It was a otherwise a fairly mellow day. We've been eating a lot which, in the heat and humidity, makes us tired... and fat... but we've got some shopping and entertainment ahead of us... and the Great Wall for my birthday which I'm really excited for! Yay! Hope everyone is safe and sound! Zai jian!

Hit by a train! Lesson Learned!

We're in Beijing.  Finally.  Hmmm... where do I begin?

So, Darren and I hadn't planned on booking our tickets to Beijing last minute, but since we did decide there was nothing else to see in Suzhou, it kinda worked out that way.  Unfortunately, there weren't any sleepers left, soft or hard, and there weren't any soft seats left either.  So, of course, we ended up buying hard seats, for a fourteen hour train.

After purchasing our tickets, we realized that there were no seat numbers, unlike our previous tickets, so we inquired at our hostel reception.  Apparently, what we got, was basically stand by seating.  And by stand by, I mean you stand by, in and around the isles until someone vacates their seat at one of the stops.  The catch however, is that if someone gets on the train with a ticket with a seat number, you have to give it up to them.  So, I suppose we were fortunate in that, being the token "white" people in the hard seat section, one of the families gave up a seat for us.  The unfortunate part, well one of the unforunate parts, is that was the only seat we were able to maintain.  For maybe a half hour, we had two seats, but otherwise, for the other thirteen and a half hours, Darren and I shared a seat; either, rotating who stood and who sat, or trying to squish onto one seat, or me sitting on his lap.

It was hell; but, but that wasn't even the worst of it.  The family who so graciously gave up a seat for us (which was nice mostly because it guaranteed a seat for the entire trip), was also incredibly abnoxious at the same time.  The son was nice, who we paid our dues to and took a random photo with (this has happened more than once mind you, when strangers ask to have pictures taken with us).  The wife however, was taking up three seats when we got on the train, and even after we woke her up, she still took up two seats to herself.  She also spread her nasty, smelly, sour feet across the seats onto her husband's lap (who was sitting right beside us), and I'm pretty sure I puked in my mouth a bit.  It was gross.  The husband as well was no picnic.  The guy was a chain smoker who dropped ash on our feet numerous times and would hold his cigarette right in front of your face.  To top it off, he too had horribly smelly feet which, at times almost ended up in our laps.  He was also a walking pustule!  He would go to the washroom (don't even get me started on that one, we held our pee for 14 hours), and come back with bloody, pussing sores that he clearly just spent the last twenty minutes popping.  They were moist and shimmering in the smoke filled air.  It was sick.

On top of it all, the train car was overpacked, and people were constantly walking past you, so you couldn't even stretch out into the isle (people were sleeping on the floor of the isle though).  Not to mention the food carts that came by every five minutes.  It's like being on a plane, except, instead of your elbow, it's your ankle, or your leg, or your whole freaking body... and the ladies are sweet like stewardesses.  They yell at you and just keep ramming you until you move.

It was the slowest ride ever and I'm pretty sure the amount of second hand smoke alone aged me ten years.  I smell bad, I look like I've been hit by a train, and neither Darren nor I have eaten more than a muffin since last night's dinner (it's almost 2pm).  Not to mention that accumulated, we've probably totaled two hours of sleep.

We're in Beijing.  We hate line ups, and for the first time I think we actually missed home.  I need a shower, a lot of beer, and some sleep.  Hope you're all well... and that you don't stink like a drunk, oily man's ash tray!  Have a good one!

A Conundrum Wrapped in an Enigma....

Hello Faithful Followers of The Noodle Diaries!

It is Tanya, once again.  Those pesky Chinese censors are back at it.  Auria has not been having much success with her blog, especially the uploading of jpgs and mpgs and such.  As a result, Auria has resorted to emailing me her pictures and asking me to load them on her blog.  I'm thrilled that Auria has entrusted me with THE ULTIMATE POWER of Administrative rights to her blog!  But here's the rub...she sent a bunch of pictures yesterday but they were unaccompanied with any stories or explanations.  So, do I post the pictures as is or should I wait for her reply as to what I should do?  I don't know when she will respond to my e-query.  What say you, Faithful Followers?

Disclaimer...this issue might not be so dramatic and overacted as Jim Carrey as "The Joker", but I like the saying..."a conundrum wrapped in an enigma" and the man looks kinda hilarious in green spandex...am I lying?

Walking Waterways in Zhouzhuang

Today, we went to Zhouzhang.  It was about an hour bus ride from Suzhou, and is one of what we now are multiple "Venices of the Orient".  I believe it is one of the more well reknown; however, it is also one of the most commercialized.

It was a very beautiful town of old buildings and canals; but, because of "historical preservation" and other such things, we each had to pay 100 RMB to get into the "old city", and meals of course within the "old city" were two to three times more than what you pay outside of the old city.  Though expensive, it was pretty.


The beauty of the city I did find hard to enjoy with the constant soliciting from the vendors whose shops line every inch of the main paths.  We did manage to find a very talented water colour artist tucked away into a hidden corner who did some beautiful artwork.  Most of the vendors were for knick knacks and trinkets (combs, tea pots, toys, purses, etc.), so we thought our little artist was quiet a find.  He pointed out to us that the other "water colours" were basically painted prints.  He gave us a magnifying loop to compare his work with a sample of some of the others' work.  You could definitely see the difference.  The other paintings are printed black and white sheets with various water colours added to them.  Under the loop you could actually see the dpi (dots per square inch).  By looking at his paintings under the loop, it was clear that his were all done by hand.  I had never thought to look for such a thing before, but it was interesting and did explain a lot.

We also tried our hand at bargaining once more... we did okay.  Later, after we were done eating, we talked (communicated through broken language, hand signals, and a calculator) with the women running the restaurant we ate at, to see if the prices we paid were too high or too low.  We did okay.  Maybe five to ten percent more than they would have paid we figured.  Not too bad considering.

All in all, it was a day of spending money, riding buses, and repeatedly saying "Wo bu yao" (I don't want).  We are going to attempt to head off for Beijing tomorrow night, which should promise some more intriguing posts.

Lazy Dayz in Suzhou

So Suzhou hasn't been the most eventful town, but we have met a lot of great people here at our hostel.

The first two days we were here it rained a lot, so we had little motivation to go sightseeing and lingering through all the gardens.  Our first night, like I mentioned we went and watched the light show with the two Israele girls, Shiri and Nathalie.  The next day, we did some laundry, and were going to go see some sights, but at one point, Darren and I just looked at eachother and silently agreed that we were going to stay in for the day.  Later that night, we went on a little boat ride.  The intention was to go for a small boat ride through some of the canals, but we ended up going for a river boat ride, which was fairly expensive, and quite boring.  There was however, some "excellent" entertainment to help pass the time.  Luckily for you all, I have a small clip of our entertainment.  (I just have to figure out how to post it.)

 We did make it to one of the 70 some odd gardens here.  We went to the Huble Administrators Garden and it was nice; but, we figured one was good enough to get a feel for them all.

We also went to the Silk Museum.  We passed it twice without realising.  It was okay.  We did get to see some actual silk worms.  They were cool. 

We also found a pretty great Dim Sum restaurant.  

They have these things called Green Tea Buddha cakes which are pretty fantastic.  I have no idea what they're made of but they're good.

Ya, otherwise, Shuzhou has really just been a place for us to kill a bit of time.  Sorry it's not more exciting.

In Suzhou

Well, we made it to Suzhou in one piece, though barely. We had our first experience with a Chinese train station, but this story begins with our taxi.

So for the most part, our traffic experience thus far has been relatively tame. Yes, there's been the obvious laps of shoulder checking and a lot of honking, but today, it seemed that all of Hangzhou was headed to the train station. Once we passed the main area around the lake, all concept of lanes disappeared. There were two cars in some areas, three in others, and occassionaly a fourth or fifth trying to honk their way in. Honking by the way, is like the universal signal for everything: shoulder checking, signalling, a pre "I'm-going-to-run-you-over-if-you-don't-move" warning, and in our case an "I'm-now-going-to-drive-on-the-side-walk warning. Yup, as soon as we hit the traffic jam (which is what I thought we were in the whole time, but oh how I was wrong) our taxi just pulled up past the meridian pillars and right up onto the sidewalk. We were passing crowds of oncoming people carrying luggage, scooters and bicycles. Darren and I just looked at each other wide-eyed. It was fairly intense; but, kudos to our driver who got us there a lot faster than everyone behind us, and shimmied into a pretty sweet front spot at the station.

Once in the station, Darren and I had to get our tickets. Most of my travel guide says to book things the day of or not too many days in advance, and Hangzhou being as laid back as it is, we weren't too worried about booking tickets in advance. We will probably not make that mistake again. I don't know if it was just because it was the weekend, and/or because of the World Expo, but with a lot of coffee and an empty stomach, my senses have never been so overwhelmed. I imagine the experience was close to something like Wall Street. There masses of lines of people, loud voices transmitted through speakers from behind the plexi-glass, flashing lights and tons of signs and symbols we couldn't understand. We showed up to the station just over an hour early, and had no idea which line to get into, or if we could even still get tickets. We figured it out eventually, and here we are... though coming out of that ticket office- more like stadium, I definitely felt a little nauseous. But we made it, in one piece...

Once we got settled in, Darren made friends with some of the girls in the room next to us. They're from Israel and just spent the last two months in Beijing studying Mandarin (friends like these are good ones to have around). Darren and I spent a few hours strolling through the canals, stopped at a local tea shop and just had a quiet afternoon. Afterwards, we met back up with the ladies and went to go watch a light show on the harbour. It was pretty cool.

Afterwards, we just spent the night visiting with our new friends and having a few drinks. Tomorrow, we're going to visit a few of the 70 infamous gardens, then possible meet up with our new friends for a boat ride through the canals. Hope all is well.

I love Israelies!

So... here I am, on my blog!  A few girls we met at our hostel have the key to restricted access in China!  I will have new updates for you soon!  Kudos to Tanya for keeping people posted... pretty sure you did a better job than I could've.  I probably should've kept my access a secret and just keep letting you post for me.  Ha ha ha!  Thanks hun, you did a wonderful job!